I don't think the gender difference is a factor so much two other factors.
1) Confidence
2) Conditioning
Before anybody fights back the y have ot make a mental choice. a simple yes or no. It's called "fight or flight" in psych but it does exist. I have been in many real confrontations and it is there everytime. It is the moment where you stop talking and decide to start swinging. OR it is the moment where your opponant attacks and you decide to fight back or turtle.
Confidence enough to make the choice to fight is the killer of most people, even martial artists. A martial artist could believe they are greatly skilled and amazed by the perfection of their own kicks or whatever but if they have never experienced this it is hard for them to adapt to. Sparring never replicates this because it is always without intention to harm. When this single instant in time hits you it is like being blasted with a large wave of fear, and you either submit to it or push through it. Gender might have something to do with it, but I doubt it. In my experience it seems to have more to do with attitude. I have seen girls beat up guys in the place I grew up. I would say most fights that are lost are lost when a person gives in to fear and stops fighting back.
2) Conditioning. Some might say a man is stronger and has more muscle mass so he is going to strike harder and grapple more effectively. They are correct. BUt the man is alos going to be alot slower unless he happens to be muscular AND flexible. Perhaps their is a statistic on who is more flexible, but in my experience of beginner students women would be the winners of that stat.
Flexability combined with the right knowledge translates directly into speed and snap which is going to be a far more effective way of developing striking power than sheer muscle mass.
So by this way of thinking women are capable of hitting harder, they just have to learn how to punch.
Overcoming fight or flight is going to determin the victor of most confrontations. In the confrontation where neither person is afraid and both choose conflict, a person can still be forced to change their mind and choose flight or turtle if they face an unexpected amount of damage.
In a scenario where neither person is ever willing to give in and they fight to the biter bitter end, The better fighter is going to win. (First I picture drugs or booze involved as this never happens lol)
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